Heavy Heart

I enter this blog with a heavy heart. I just left one of our clients not more than 10 minutes ago. I met with here at a neutral spot of her choosing to talk about possibly placing her in a sober living program. She had expressed to our street team that she wanted to get into a program so she could take the steps of getting off of drugs and stop prostituting herself and be a mother to her 6 children. She showed up a couple of minutes late and confessed that she had forgot about our meeting but said that she wanted to get into a program but just was not ready right now. I asked her about her kids but she quickly changed the subject as a john walked by that caught her eye. "That guy is looking to date me", she said with a look of I need to make my rent for my motel room (one that I have saw a hundred times before), and with that she said to me, "I'll see you around."

As I watched her climb into his car, I thought, man the devil just punked me and did me dirty...again. This kind of thing is nothing new and is pretty much par for the course for myself and our ministry. We can not get discouraged in our calling. Seeds were planted today and we have to remind ourselves that she was not ready today to make a change. We have to hold out hope that one day she will be ready to make a change and when she is we will be here for her with open arms. It still weighs heavy on my heart.

I am reminded of God's patience and Grace for me as I played "CHURCH" saying one thing on Sunday and doing the exact opposite the other 6 days of the week, but in that... I finally surrendered all to Christ 4 and a half years later. Which reminds me that God has a plan and a purpose for us all even if we don't act like it.

Even if it's 4 1/2 weeks or 4 1/2 years or 4 1/2 decades  Just as God was patient with me so do I need to be patient with others as they discover a love for Christ.

All Glory to God,

- Doug Bennett